Kate Middleton, the British royal family and the modern fame monster

Photo of author

By journalsofus.com


On Monday afternoon, the Zapruder film of The Kate Middleton Mystery analysis revealed On TMZ. It shows the Princess of Wales leaving a shop at Windsor Farms with her husband, and although she wasn’t exactly looking glamorous – leggings, athleisure wear – she wasn’t exactly looking, you know, dead, Which seems to put an end to one of the more unfounded theories floating around on the Internet: that the woman had died, and that the royal family had spent several months watching “Weekend at Bernie’s.”,

Well, it’s the same, I thought, and then within five minutes I heard from a friend — a cool, sensible friend, who before last month probably couldn’t even pick Kate Middleton out of a lineup — and my friend said, “It’s a body double. , isn’t it? She doesn’t usually walk like that.”

Once More Unto the Breach:

In January, the royal family announced that the Princess had checked into a hospital for “planned abdominal surgery” and that she would step back from public duties until Easter. All was quiet for several weeks, until the royal audience began to find it strange that he was not seen at all. (No wave from the balcony? No “Thank you for your wishes” pre-recorded video?) The conspiracies were only fueled when he Was Seen: A family photo posted by the couple on Instagram was republished by news outlets and then quickly retracted when it was discovered that the image was badly and ridiculously photoshopped, including A portion was missing from Princess Charlotte’s sleeve.

Kate later had to edit the photo herself and, if you want, you can think of a perfectly reasonable explanation. Perhaps this was the only way she could show all three of her children smiling in the same shot, or perhaps she felt her own appearance needed some change because she was, in fact, Recovering from abdominal surgery. oh ok. Its very late. By that time the whole Kate Middleton mystery had become, as Helen Lewis wrote in The Atlantic, “QAnon for Vine moms.”

Why are so many people caught in the cycle of speculation? More on this issue: Why didn’t the royal family immediately inject some Drano and flush the system? How did Windsor, whose entire work is actually optics, become so bad at optics?

One argument being made is that the royal family, despite centuries of practice, doesn’t know how to be famous. At least, not modernly famous ones.

When Queen Elizabeth II was crowned in 1953, fame was a different thing. Heads of state were expected to have a private life. Elizabeth’s father, George VI, suffered from lung cancer, which was so closely monitored that his death shocked the entire country, which had not realized that he was very ill. And then the queen ruled for 70 years, and the social customs around her changed, but the social customs that applied to her – which were about her own health privacy – didn’t change. A posthumous biography, due to be published next month, reports that Elizabeth had also been battling cancer, myeloma, for years before her death, and no one knew it. She had managed to maintain the 1950s protocols of fame into the 2020s.

But by the time he died, we were living in a tin-foil-hat, anti-vax, lizard-people, flaming-trash world that was very different from 1952, and the royal family was still doing things like that. It’s as if they live in a world that the public will believe when they present something medical as routine or planned.

Kate’s surgery was announced the same day the palace announced King Charles III would be seeking treatment for an enlarged prostate. The news about Charles later changed to an announcement that the king would be undergoing treatment for cancer. But not prostate cancer, an unspecified cancer. We still don’t know what type of cancer it is. We know the palace is discussing whether amendments might need to be made for his birthday parade in June, should he leave Buckingham in a carriage instead of a horse.

You can imagine what the public is making of all this.

The question whether Charles’s health, or Kate’s health, is the subject of any of our business is almost beside the point. So the question is what is “really” going on with the family, if anything is “really” going on with the family (Cholmondeley? Gloucester? ostomy, IYKYK.) Those horses have left the barn, it doesn’t matter whether the king is in the saddle or following in the carriage.

What this debacle has revealed in a big way is that the royal family has lost control of the narrative and they don’t know how to get it back. His is an ancient brand that is built on mystery rather than disclosure, empathy rather than sympathy, living among people but not regular people.

You can imagine a different path taken by the Princess of Wales At its beginning. One in which she revealed her surgery ahead of time, explaining what it was and how she felt about it. You can see her social media posts with hospital Jell-O photos and personal captions about how humbling it feels to be physically compromised after a lifetime of good health. Maybe a statement acknowledging that she knows people are thinking about her, but she feels and looks trash right now and there’s no way she’s going out wearing a bathing suit, guys.

It would have been common to do so. But doing so is not a royal thing. This might remove the mystery of where she was, but it would also remove the mystery of the monarchy. And this is what the current state of affairs shows: if the royals are to be trusted they cannot behave like royals.

But once they start behaving like common people, what is left of them?

In what was either an absurd coincidence or really expert trolling, the past few weeks also saw some minor movement from the California wing of the royals, Harry and Meghan, who in 2020 wisely cut off their own branch of the family tree and replaced it with their Brought it along. Montecito. After years of silence on social media, the Duchess of Sussex quietly relaunched an Instagram presence for the “American Riviera Orchard,” featuring a creamy gold logo on a linen background.

The attached website is still empty – you can “Join the Wait List” – but officials investigating the pending US trademark applications discovered that American Riviera Orchard was a home goods company that made stationery and things like candle holders and yoga mats. Will present.

Mark my words, we’re having Gwyneth Paltrow meet Stonewall Kitchen; We’re getting preserves and chutneys and Meghan’s favorite gardening pants, and even more you want to know what herbal remedies Harry loves when he has a cold. It will be beautiful, and ridiculous, and honest, and completely staged.

Because Harry and Meghan know how to be famous. He hated being royal, but he loved the fame he could achieve. They’ll launch a lifestyle brand, and Kate will launch a thousand conspiracies, grainy videos, yoga pants, until she finally returns to her normal public schedules and her lifestyle — the royal brand — that people aren’t sure she wants. It is still needed. Purchase

Leave a comment